A smile from within, a smile that refuses to leave from his face. Meet Emmanuel, our top Advanced-Level student. He has just entered Form Six, and his prayers and my own have just been answered in a big way. Emmanuel is one of six children, and his father is a farmer. The boy is intelligent and thoughtful, zealous in his studies, with an ambition that will take him far in life. Far too often for a boy of his age and potential, Emmanuel has thought that he will not be able to attend school. His family cannot afford his school fees, so he has been paying them himself. Tanzania, like most developing countries, is unforgiving in the employment opportunities it offers. The only work available to Emmanuel is farming. So, he spends his holidays doing manual labor on farms, earning pennies that he faithfully deposits in his school bank account. For years, he has prayed and applied for sponsorships from our partner church in America, and has watched in vain as lesser students receive them. Finally, God has answered Emmanuel's prayers with a resounding voice. The picture above captures his reaction when he heard the news that St. Hugo of the Hills Parish from Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, had agreed to sponsor him with a sum that will not only allow him to complete his Advanced-level studies without a problem, but will carry him into his University studies. Emmanuel is studying to be a lawyer, and I am confident that he will reach his dreams and more.
When Kyle Schwartz of Denver, Colorado handed out Post-It notes in an annual exercise, I doubt that she would have predicted how far the news would travel. She would probably be surprised to see how much it moved a Peace Corps Volunteer teacher, who happened to see the hashtag on Twitter on a rainy afternoon sitting alone in the teachers' office of a school in a remote village in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro.
In late April, I borrowed a page out of Kyle Schwartz' book - the "I Wish My Teacher Knew" exercise. I was sitting in our teachers' office, watching fat droplets of rain slap the heads of grass outside, deep in contemplation while I waited for a student who needed my help. This particular week, my spirit was broken in a way that is difficult to rationally explain. In fact, during my Peace Corps service, I am learning that my feelings are mine alone, and I have no need to justify my emotions to anyone else.
I started in my "Form III Kibo" Biology class, and they were surprisingly receptive to the assignment. I entered the class on a cloudy morning, and after, spreading the "Fistbump" greeting that has become tradition in all of my classes, I wrote, "I Wish My Teacher Knew..." in block letters across the top of our dusty chalkboard. I invited my students to compete the sentence, writing one thing about their lives that they wished I knew. I gave them five minutes in silence to complete the exercise, without any further instructions. As they turned in their meticulously folded paper squares to the box I had left at the front of the room, I told them some of the things that I wished they knew:
"I wish my students knew that I am only 23 years old, and living away from everything that I have known is the hardest thing I have done. I wish my students knew that I am not as strong or as put-together as I'd like to be, and I break down all the time. I wish my students knew that when they disrespect me over and over again, simply because they know that I will not punish them with the stick, it discourages me. I wish they knew that I have thoughts of going home every week. But, I wish that they knew that for every student who discourages me, there is a student who encourages me. I wish they knew that the group of girls who comes to me for help makes me want to stay and help them forever. I wish they knew that every time a student asks me an intelligent question during class, I can't stop beaming as soon as I get home and close my door. I wish my students knew that when they improve in their exam scores, this is my single biggest motivation to keep working hard for the development of Tanzania."
During my lunch break, I finally had the chance to open some of their carefully-folded answers, and what I read shocked me completely. Behind the bright, spunky eyes of my students was real pain that I had never imagined. As a whole, I knew that Tanzanian students faced far greater challenges than I could have dreamed of, growing up in comfortable suburbs, passing manicured lawns and golf-courses on my way to schools that fostered my success. While a few students had penned their names into the corner of their slips of paper, many had kept their notes anonymous. Still, from many long nights of marking their exercise books and exam papers, I could almost always recognize the handwriting behind each story. Quiet tears flowed down my face unabashedly, but I think all of the other teachers were too busy engaging in the usual lunch-time arguments to notice.
I completed the same exercise in my "Form III Mawenzi" Biology class, as well as both classes of Form IV Biology that I am currently teaching. Their answers were poignant and silly at the same time, most of them surprising. This exercise was an invaluable tool that brought me closer to all 200 of my Form III and Form IV students, and helped us to realize that, while we are students and teachers together in a system that does not allow for us to share our unique experiences, we are all human beings with a common experience. Overall, our only duty is to love each other. Love can transcend all challenges in our human existence - whether it is poverty, hunger, oppression, even genocide and terrorism. After this exercise, I agreed to love my students a little bit more, especially on days when I felt broken. In turn, my students agreed to love me a little bit more - with unsure smiles at first, and then whole-heartedly as they realized they really had nothing to lose.
Here are a few of their 200 responses - a mixture of my favorites and responses that I've selected randomly. I have left their original spelling and grammar to preserve the originality of their responses. Many of their responses were in Swahili, and I have translated the handful (in Italics) that I have chosen for this post. I have also left all of their names out to protect their confidentiality, but all of my classes have agreed to be a part of this blog post to educate the world about their challenges. Like the sentimental being that I am, these slips of paper have followed me all the way home to Michigan, where they filled up half of the small suitcase I put my things into before traveling home for the June holidays. The lessons that I have learned from this activity will follow me much further in life. If you are interested in seeing the full list of their responses, feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or email. Enjoy!
“1. Family Problems: I remember on 10th May 2012 my dady left/passed away and there after it had been a problem that the elder brothers of my dady together with aunts do not have any help to us. They never help our mom to study us also by mom has a big lagge since she has three children of her sister who passed away long time ago. She always have thought on how to study us she never get a salary and stay with it since it is small. This makes me think so much even loss concentration I fell very sorry for my mom I wish she can get help form some where.
2. Fear of the teachers: I also fear some of the teachers so am even afraid to ask them questions where I have not understand since they are so hush.
3. Grammer: The grammer used in exams I difficult they bring me difficulties during exams so as I punnic/fear the exams that is the beginning of failing."
“I wish my teacher knew The life is very difficult because musto people is struggle which cause poverty.”
“The charrange in my life is money which can use in to get good Education.”
“Sometimes I true to study hard but I can’t even if I study but that thing didn’t stay in my head and I don’t know and why and some times when I see the teacher come with the stek in the class I panic so I forget what he/she told me and when I remember my dad who passed away last year I can’t to study and I cray because I love him. By __________"
“Difficulties of my life
-For my education I don’t understand English and I want to know English because all subject are using one language ecept Swahili.
If I study I understand but the examination I don’t understand question.
-I want one teacher to advice me about my education and understand English language.
-If you study other student tell me you study but you failed because for me for exams I don’t understand question and I forget if I study.”
“The challenges that I have goat in my life one day wen I was working beside the road in the forest but when I was working I heared a sheep craying in the bushes and the way the ship was craying it was different from oter. I stopped working and find where the sheep voice was coming from there I worked until hear the bush what I saw my hole body was paraliaised I saw a big snake eating asheep and when it saw me it looked at me and then I looked at it and I started running.
THE END"
“I want to be fulfill my dream but there some people who make to loose hope that told me that science subject are so hard especially chemistry so as I’m here I’m loose hope to be scientist. Madam please help me to reach my dream coz I’m loose hope to be scientist. And I want to be scientist who is doctor. But I’m praying for my self and please Madam pray for me too. To reach my goals GOD HELP ME.”
“I study very well but if the examination come I fall.
I study very good out of the room but if I am in the room I forget.”
“I wish you could read me or understand me together with my brain because sometimes I try to read by I cant catch anything at all I don’t know whats bothering me or whats wrong with me I wish I could get a way to escape that but I don’t know what to do madam if you have a way to help please do so because that is my big problem.”
“Every day I am discouraged by the leader who take corruption.”
“The most challenge of my life is the disturbances which boys (men) make towards me. Another thing is corruption increase in our country. I wish you could know that I am working hard in order I can reach my goals.”
“I get discouraged when I am in school because my fellow students calls me a refugee so sometime its hard for me to stay with happiness and instead I go to the field to refreshing my mind so that I won’t remember the words said by my fellow students.”
"I love you Madam Caro so much.”
"I'm sad all of my life b'coz every year when I'am celebrate ma birthday I have got more pain b'coz of the day which am born is the day which ma mom die; Its full pain all of my life and I have get challenge on it and I must study very hard in order to be successful."
“I dislike those boys and girls who make my life disaster. It make me uncomfortable.”
“The things that I will never forget in my life and I remember up today when I study my young sister died I love her soo much I remember up today”
“In my life I would like to came and represent my nation and making revolution for the ones who make undevelopment in our country. I will rais my nation up to the top of among the developed nations in the world. May GOD help me cause in the way to successes built trust first. Amen.”
“In my life I hate the someone who let me have a strees this is the problem which let me to fellad my study.
I didn’t like people to talk about me because every people who are in my beside are xo charry talking nuncess about me which let me thinking and let me to fell my studies.
Everyday in my life I like to be happy because when am happy it let my nature to be so gud. It let me to perform my studies
I ALWAYS TRUST IN GOD”
“Madam I need you to know that it is so difficult for me to study because they are some people in my class who always says other girls badly to discourage them. And this put me in a very difficult situation
Also, Madam I usually need some of the things from my Dad but it is so difficult for me to tell him. He is rich but very harsh. So I’m so afraid of him and I am not staying with my Mom. So to get some of my things is so difficult.
I want to know Physics it is too difficult to me to understand so, please helpe me Madam.
Madam I need your help
God bless you much”
“I was born at Kilimanjaro in Tanzania I live with my parents until I was in standard two. When I was in standard two my father passed away. I was a hard period in my family my mother meets with big problems but God help them to pass through it my mother live with us until I reach here but my dreams is to be a professional doctor but I don’t believe if will be because my mother everytime tell me I don’t believe if I will be with you until you reach University that slogan make my heart pain but our life in my family is not good it is normal one. But don’t share with other teachers.”
“I wish one day to finished the school education and to going to get my life for place of the Africa and to make the my parent to good life and to make the life of”
“I Wish My Teacher Knew...
Hello Madam. I wish you are all Fine. My big challenge in my life is to manage time (management of time). I wish you can help me. Nice day.
By _________”
Drawn All over the back:
Difficult Possible
Fm Zero 2 Hero
I believe my Dreams Can Come True
"I LIKE TO STUDY"
“I wish my teacher knew....
I wish my Madam knew challenge which face me in this long jouney of completing my Goals
My problem is
My school fees is problem. My parents didn’t have enough money to pay for my school fees.
I think a lot of thing about my feature
I need to perform well but don’t know what to do.
Always I like to respect every body which include my teachers
I love my parents
I wish to complet form IV”
“Madam I wish you knew that I like science subjec thus why I study hard. But my prolem is in the practical for biology, chemistry, and physics which will make me to obtain a higher division. If God wishes I think my problem will be solved until national. I love u my teacher.
Its me, _____________"
“I wish my teacher knew....
Ooh! Madam in my life when I remember the day that my dady is died i can feel more than pain at any time. IN order to dont remember that day, i can do many things like to play, to share idea to my friend. So Madam that is my problem face me.
‘O.! Lord HELP ME TO ARCHIEVE MY GOALS’”
“I wish my teacher knew....
Madam I wish you to know that were a human being so we can done thing which is wrong and right. And when we go against pelase teacher should help us by correct us not by using a stick like on animals to correct us.”
“I wish my teacher knew this about me that I am good student but the challenge face me which i saw now it is big problem; it how can i redce my mind again to bring like first time --! I try my best to be bright but I didn’t do it. (Nashindwa) How could I do Madam!!! (Just pray for me)"
“I wish my teacher knew
That Jesus in the saviour of all man kind in the whole world therefore may you trust him and walk with him in all your ways and you will succeed.”
“I wish Madam Carol knew me student have a good idea but the problem is I don’t have a many books to read and understand”
“I wish my teacher knew
=> IN my life I like to be educated people in this world because in this world without education can cause many things like poverty, hunger so in my life I want to be educated man. And in education I want to study about how to conduct business. Such as in market, industry. Because if did not have education on how to conduct bussness they may louse loss in the bussness.”
“Kitu kipya ambacho kinachonitatiza hapa shuleni ni viongozi hawasikilizi wanafunzi wenzao kwa sababu gani au ni kitu gani kilichomfany afanye kosa. Viongozi wanatoa kuadhabu pia na kuwajibu vibaya.”
A new thing that is troubling us in school in that leaders do not listen to their own peers because the things that bothers them is mistakes. Leaders are giving punishment and answering wrongly.
“I wish my teacher knew” that cause me not to be active on important matter like my subject. I want to parform more than this level but my brain is not more active. I don’t know what is the reason behind”
“I wish my teacher knew how tearchers are used stick to punish student. They killing body cells.”
“I wish my teacher’s to knew How student are given punishment during the class period.”
“I wish my teacher knew that my problem in my life is about school fees and the pearson to help me in my subjects so I need more effort for you my teacher help me please.”
“I want to advice teachers that hard punishment should be decrease for the student or if is possible to reduce that punishment."
“I wish my teacher knew that’-
I have problem in school fees. My parents can not able to pay a school fees at right time and lead me to be turn to home and miss the periods in school. And this is because my parents have many responsibilities. We are four childrens and all we are in secondary school and my sister is in University at Monduli. And she needs much money. So school fees is a challenge in my study.”
“Madam try to advice teachers to minimize number of sticks to be punished.”
"In my features. I wan to pass the exam especially National exam in form four but are problems which are
-lack of enough book especially book story
-shortage of teacher of computer in the school.”
“I wish my teacher knew
I don’t have a mother. Because my mother died three years ago when I was in form one (2011)
By ______________”
"Madam I wish you knew my problem is everyday when am coming at school my head and my ear are so painfull and when am in the class my head is painful.”
“Madam. Try to convice the teachers to minimize number of sticks”
“I wish my teacher knew
The challenge f my life it can occur when my grandfather was dead It will be in very bad condition because in my life they love my grandfather very much and because they help to teach me what is bad and rong and the die of my grandfather the many thing of my life they can be disapeare.”
"Kitu kipya kinachonitatiza hapa shuleni ni adhabu wanazotoa viongozi ni adhabu kali katika wanafunzi wengine
Thank you.”
The new thing that is troubling us here in school in punishment being given by leaders, it is harsh punishment against their own students
“Madam natamani kufaulu lakini kina ninapojitaidi sioni kama naweza na sijui nifanye nini ninasoma kwa bidii lakini sioni mafanikio natazama mbele yangy nina mtihani wa mock sijui nifanye nin madam naomba unisaidia.”
Madam I want to succeed but when I try harder, I dont see that I can and I don't know what I can do, I study with great effort but I don't see success in front of me, I have Mock Examinations but I don't know what to do Madam, I ask you to help me.
“I wish my teacher my teacher to knew complications in my society there are many issue of the child who have not go to school because of their family have know the good capacity which help to give their child to go and to get the education. So the many complication is povety which carry many people in the society especially who have no the education.”
“I wish my teacher to knew how student are given punishment at class period.”
